Many posts.

 I know I have posted a lot since restarting this Blog. I wanted to get as much info together as I could of things I have all ready posted elsewhere. Part of me says it is for when I am gone, some where inside say it is good to share parts of my story as much as I can. So I don't mind sharing those videos. I may in the future retell stories, as my brain isn't great anymore. If I plan to restart the story time stuff like the walk videos I posted before or even the others that tell my story as I know I never really finished it. A lot has happened to me and Jr High was the worst years of my life, so every time I get to around that time my anxiety kicks in. I would have nightmares, I use nightmares as a word for my bad dreams that are caused by PTSD. Talking about my past in Jr High causes them, but my newest Nightmares are fueled by a more recent tragedy I went through in January 2022. So I feel like I may be able to talk, well write about my Jr High years and avoid those nightmares. Although I would welcome those nightmares out of the ones I have now because of January. I honestly don't think I will ever recover from January. That story will have to be for another time, its 4 in the morning here and I don't want to jinx myself. I have a few tiktoks I posted more recently that I could share as they are on the topic of January just to give a little insight to Why I have gotten to where I am now. Lost. Tired. Done. Barely Existing. 

Maybe I will post them after I try to get some sleep. I forgot to take my melatonin tonight so my brain is running wild and causing me issues with falling asleep. 

I guess its time for me to go lay down and stare at the ceiling and cry silently as not to wake anyone. 

Be Safe.